That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
