I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
