Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
