why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
