If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
