I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
