Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
