Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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