she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
