people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
