guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
