he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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