I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
