whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
