what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
