For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
