you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
