So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
