if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
