you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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