I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
