hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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