Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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