brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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