Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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