"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
