so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
