Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
