Where are you?
In a non slutty way
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
