I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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