loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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