dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
bring money and cleavage
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
