if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
