bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize