I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
