Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
