My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize