it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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