it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
ttyl tear gas
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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