Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
