My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
