so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize