i think my mom watched the whole time
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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