either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
