I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
