and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
