i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
