I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
