but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
