So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
