oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
