Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
