You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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