Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
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