This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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