Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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