Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
