this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
