we have officially lost it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
