better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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