Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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