filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
