I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
