I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
