dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
