I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
