This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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