She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
