I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize